Boling water, burning fingers

Few days back i visited a doctor and was diagnosed with stomach infection. The doctor told me to drink boiled water and i told her that i drink only Bisleri and beer. She replied, “Still, drink only boiled water.” I waited for her to add ‘Also only boiled beer’ but she didn’t mention it.

The reason i order a 20 liter bottle of Bisleri every week is not because i am rich but because i am lazy. The drinking water tap of the house i stay is on the ground floor and i stay on the first floor. Thanks to the mall revolution in India the only mode of travelling within floors i am now comfortable is escalators and lifts. Hence, i find the task of walking one floor down just to fetch 2-3 bottles of water as tedious as sitting in a meeting doing small talks with my boss until other team-losers (members) show up or send a message that they are too busy to attending meetings.

Today i poured water in a cauldron and put it on the gas for boiling. After few minutes i spotted something in the cauldron and to remove it inserted my finger in water. Yeah, i know what you are thinking. I am in cooking what Ravindra Jadeja is in international cricket. Total abject miserable abysmal failure.

The first thing i did after inserting my figure into water which was about to reach boiling point was to remove it. The second thing was to run to the washbasin and pour some water on it. The third thing was to switch off the gas. The fourth thing was to address myself in the language which truly shows i am a huge fan of Delhi Belly.

I still don’t get it. How could i have been so stupid or in Delhi Belly version, “Itna bada cutiyaapa kaise ho gaya?” I am the guy who in the 12^th class solved every question correctly before anybody else in the coaching class. This thing made me extremely popular among my coaching class teachers and extremely unpopular among my peers. Today most of the girls in my 12^th coaching class can cook Indian, Chinese…etc etc (etc etc depending what do their husbands like) and i cannot even boil water.

I am unable to fathom this incident of my life. I know i am a man with average IQ and poor cooking skills. Still this doesn’t explain the phenomena of my IQ falling to a 3 years old in front of boiling water? I just don’t understand the logic. I mean why?...Why did God gave me the ability to memorize tables till 30 but no ability to boil water?