Learning to make Omelette

I am old enough that little kids call me uncle. I am fat enough that sometimes teenagers call me uncle. I am not yet bald enough that I would refer myself as an uncle but I am working towards that goal. (I shampoo my hair only once every week.)

When somebody is old enough to be called an uncle then it means he has occupied earth for several years. This means the person has spend some time on earth learning essential survival skills like riding a bike, getting a job and avoiding aunties during marriages. 

However, there is one lacunae in my survival skill set. I don't know how to cook. I know the year is 2017 and boys must spend time in kitchen but I have a mobile phone and enough salary to order from restaurants. 

Since today is Rangwali Holi so all the restaurants in my neighbourhood are closed. This means to kill hunger I have to cook my own food. As a bachelor I am an expert in making yummy bachelor food dishes likes Maggie noodles and Maggie pasta. I can also make tea but I will have to first google for recipe. 

The reason I learned to cook omelette was because of my mother. Like any other normal mother she called me yesterday on Holi and instead of wishing me Happy Holi proceeded to ask about my eating plans. Since restaurants will be closed tomorrow she was concerned I would eat a dozen plates of Maggie noodles. 

I made the mistake of telling my mother the truth that I don't plan to eat twelve plates of Maggie noddles tomorrow. I just plan to eat Maggie for breakfast, lunch, supper and dinner. This made my mother remind her son that during my last home-visit she had added some utensils to my luggage.

My mother asked since you have tava and spatula then what is stopping you from making omelettes. The answer to that question as per me was lack of eggs but I didn't want to make my mother angry. She would start a lecture on why good food is important for health and end it with blaming Maggie for making her son retarded.  So I took omelette making instructions from mother and bought eggs. 

As per my mother the recipe for making omelette includes chopped onions, chilli, pepper and eggs. I guess this is how normal people make omelettes. As per me the easy bachelor omelette recipe is to break two eggs, whisk them, add salt and red chilli power. After that you pour the concoction on hot tava and eat with bread whatever comes out.

Thanks for reading my blog. 

Bye, 

Abhishek.