Office problems

Show me an office without problems and I will show you heaven. You can go to heaven only after you are dead. Hence, only zombies work in heaven. In normal office where I and you work, we have problems. I read somewhere that the only place where people don’t have any problem is graveyard. So if your office has problems and you are not a zombie then Thank God for not working in a graveyard.

The list of our office problems is endless. It begins with colleagues asking your help on computer that make you say fuck Microsoft to the useless HR dept whose only reason of existence is to give jobs to good for nothing people. There are people who want AC to be turned on, there are people who don’t want AC to be turned on and there are people who want people discussing about AC to shut up because they are talking on mobile.

If you work in a small organization then forget cafeteria there in not even a coffee vending machine and if you work in a big organization then there is a coffee vending machine and over-priced cafeteria food. If you buy food from cafeteria you get greasy food and if you don’t buy food from cafeteria and drink only coffee you have frequent trip to washroom. Washrooms either don’t have water or have wet toilet seats. Actually wet toilet seats are not a problem for me. I am sorry girls but God structured us boys in such a way that wet toilet seat really don’t bother us.

If you ask me what is the biggest office problem is I would say it is Boss. Now you also work in an office and would say that not true. The biggest problem sometimes is not the Boss but is Deadline. True. Accepted. Actually we both are right and our answers are incomplete. The biggest problem we both have ever faced is a bad boss with a tight deadline.

The bad Boss wants you to work overtime to achieve the deadline and a tight deadline means that you can’t achieve it. The bad Boss blames you for the mistakes and the deadline tell you to make those mistakes if you want to complete the project on time. So what do you do? You work hard and your personal life gets screwed. The management’s had a goal of creating a win-win situation and we end up with a lose all situation.

The only solution to this problem is to find another job. Don’t think things will change in your new job but it will allow you to have some piece of mind during your honeymoon period. Although I never realized why it is called that the new joinees are enjoying honeymoon period when nobody is fucking them but why bother knowing it. After all, a rose called by any other name will still smell sweet and as long as the boss or the deadline don’t make you cry there is no need to upload your resume on Naukri.com

To sum up

Every office has problems. The trick to have a good life is not to act like an idiot and accept more work but is to act like an idiot so that your boss will delegate more work to some other idiot.