Wednesday lunch

Every office has its own peculiarities. In my company all the employees are given a company sponsored lunch on the last Wednesday of the month. I have never bothered to know why it is the last Wednesday and not last Friday because I have spent enough time in my cubicle to accept that office is one of the places in universe that are not governed by logic.

The menu today was chana masala, paneer whatever (I have lived in Gurgaon for 2.5 years. I don’t care what sabji it is until it has paneer in it), dal, rice, roti, pineapple raita and jaljira. I think our HR dept is an ardent believer of the philosophy that says – Eat, drink and fart.

The HR informed us that lunch is ready and I dashed towards the terrace to refute the theory that there are no free lunches. I reached terrace and found that few of my friends were already having lunch. The HR had put some plastic chairs on the terrace so that we could enjoy the meal. I found it very awkward. The way my friends were sitting closely, chatting, holding their plate in hand made me remember of the few marriages I had attended. 

I took my plate and taking clue that this would be like a marriage reception I decided to eat my lunch standing. I had moved few meters away from the food stall that I heard one of my friends shout at me – Where are you going? We all are here. This was equivalent to an uncle you meet at a marriage who tries to become friendly with you so that he can know more about you and later say to your parents – Your son is a gem. I know few girls that will become perfect bahu. I will send you their photos. Meanwhile if you have your son’s bio-data please give it to me so that I can talk with the parents of girls that looking for ideal son-in-law. 

Uncleji that’s so 1990s. Get out of the time wrap. This is 2010. Today if I want to get married I will register myself on shaadi.com. and that’s not all. I don’t want to be marry someone who can be a ideal bahu. I want to marry someone who can be an ideal life partner. I have very high expectations from my wife and that’s why I am single.

I told my friend that I will be back in 2 mins and as I do with such uncles, I disappeared in the crowd. I took my lunch which was awesome and then tried pineapple raita. I tasted one spoon of it and decided the remaining will go in the dustbin. Lunch over it was time for a jaljeera. I tasted jaljeera and wished some HR guy was on the terrace. I am a foodie and I find great pleasure in castigating people who ruin the taste of a good meal.

I came back after dumping the pineapple raita and jaljeera in the dustbin and decided to have a Halls to kill the taste I had in my mouth. After all of all the pleasures in life having a good meal can be considered as second best to sleeping in office.

To sum up

HR you ruined a perfect lunch. I swear revenge. I will make you watch Kites.