I don’t want to become Dilbert

Last Friday was the best Friday of my life. Work sucked as usual but I got several #Followfriday recommendations on Twitter. Some of them were from people who put 5-6 tweeps with #FF in a tweet. I checked their timeline and felt they were giving #FF to all of their followers. I didn’t bother to thank such people.

Along with people giving #FF to all their followers I received follow recommendation from few people whom I consider the best tweeps in the Indian tweetverse. You experience sheer happiness when you receive follow reco. from a tweep whose tweets you admire and since I received several #FF from the tweeps I admire, I was very happy on Friday. 

I thanked every tweep that gave a #FF to me because they think I am either the desi Dilbert or the next Dilbert. I did that because I am sure the people who called me Desi Dilbert or the next Dilbert are the people who read my tweets. 

Dilbert is my second favorite comic strip. My favorite comic strip is Calvin and Hobbes. After Calvin, Dilbert is the comic character that I enjoy reading the most. I think the only way Dilbert can beat Calvin in popularity is by becoming a superhero. If Dilbert becomes a superhero then instead of dealing with the two pointy headed boss, he would be fighting crime. Unfortunately this will not be good for my ego because as a side effect of this change nobody will refer to me as a comic character. 

Ask me what you think of Dilbert and I will say he is damn funny and realistic. Dilbert is the guy who is working with the same bunch of eccentric guys for the last several years. I am unable to understand why does no one in Dilbert’s company finds another job or gets fired. Dilbert sometimes goes to job interviews but always gets rejected. He is stuck in a job that he doesn’t like. Dilbert fits in my definition of being a loser. 

The reason we all like Dilbert is because we all can relate with him. We all work with people who sometimes do things that make us wish to slash their throats with letter opener. The Dilbert character I can identify most with myself is Asok and that’s not because he is Indian or never goes on a date.

When I entered the workforce I was like Asok. I was naive and didn’t know anything about office politics. I thought the boss with so much experience is a genius and those who work hard always get promoted. However, unlike Asok I have not studied in a big college and hence even after graduation I am still able to learn. 

I found in office that people are inherently good. They were just like me. They want to become friends with their colleagues. They want to work, they want of deliver awesome results and they want to win. Unfortunately, God works in mysterious ways and management without logic. People know being good has no effect on their chance for promotion but impressing the management does. Hence, they do what is necessary and gives those who are still good cubicle blues. 

If you ask me,”Abhishek, how is that you are not Dilbert?” then my answer is simple. I plan to quit my current job as soon as I can find a better one and since I am not Dilbert, I am sure I will find one. 

To sum up

I am not Dilbert. My short term goal is to become Wally, the guy who does no work. My long term goal is to become the two pointed hair boss, the guy who does no work, is incompetent and collects the fattest check at the end of the month.